MEIR

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die” – Ecclesiastes 3:1

With my eyes closed, I imagine carrying you in my arms. My heart throbs. I gasp and hold my breath. The world frozed. Suddenly, there you are in my arms. Pinkish skin, puppy eyes and a pair of little arms and legs and tiny feet. You moved a little and I panicky adjusted my arms. I run my ring finger on your left cheek. You moved your cheek and it looked as if you’re smiling. I smiled back. You opened your mouth as if you’re trying to say something. Then for the first time, I heard you cry. You’re little voice probably is the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard. I swayed a little and you hushed. I gently kissed you in your forehead and whispered ‘I love you’, not with my mouth but with my soul. I let go of the breath I held. The world continued and your image slowly faded. My knees fold and I burst into tears.

Through me, God has given you life, but only for him to take away. And I was so powerless. If I could, I would have traded my last breath, so that you can take your first.

Now I’m left in a world without you.

**

For a friend who lost her little angel.

JINX

This thing about me having the jinx is starting to be not so funny anymore. Whichever account I’m assigned to, I’ll eventually have to go thru one of these ‘unfortunate’ events. Actually for me, none of them were really that bad. When U*R*botics was wrapped, it was actually good since I got to be on the same account with my my then girlfriend Aubrey. After 4 years, P*CHowT* went EOL. But then, I was promoted and moved to a more stable account. Well, in this industry, ‘stable’ really doesn’t insure much. 8 months later Ad*be died . But the outcome was still good. I was moved to a different team, which turns out to be the best OMD team ever, fell in love w/ my new TM, and got to be on the same account w/ Aubrey again. After 2/3s of a year, shit goes again. This time, 2 peeps will be laid off. I don’t know. I still believe this will still end up a good thing. Lot may be much better off w/ the SITC team, and I pray that Pao gets to play Tom the Architect soon and meets his Summer Finn. As for the rest of us, I hope the new setup works on our side. I believe it will. Argh! In the famous words of Richard Jimenez – fuck this life!

brain farts…

It’s been ages since my last post. I’ve been meaning to continue writing my ballad, but I don’t want to do it just for the sake of doing it. I was really inspired when I wrote the first two chapters, but lately, busy w/ the holidays and all, I just can’t find it in me. Though I’m really excited to finally start writing the third chapter that I was planning to label ‘The Promise’. One of these days.

I am now Buchukoy as per my high school friends. Mr. Choy for short.

Deciding if I want a new phone or an Ipod for my birthday on June. Yey!

“Bakit tayo minamalas? Kasi gumagawa din tayo ng malas!” – very good insight from our local priest. Will be my motto for 2010.

A very ridiculous entry in my New Year’s Reso – Will use Twitter!

Another ridiculous entry in my New Year’s Reso (because I know I just won’t) – Lose weight and shape up!

Easier by Kandi is a very nice song. Specially for grieving hearts. But not for Richard, he’s way past grievance. For him, I believe it’s time to turn the page.

SIEGE is so tempting, but I promised to move on from comics. Brian Bendis is the devil. Well, I can always download ‘em. But definitely, must not buy ‘em.

Career wise – 2010 is shaping up to be a good year. Fingers-crossed.

Must change my header pic. I realized I kinda look down symdrome-y there. Heh.

The ballad of Alex and Aubrey – Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – Affirmation

I believe in miracles. For the past 5 years, my wife and I have been thru thick and thin. The easy-life and the unending hardships, the sweet taste of success and the lingering bitterness of our failures, tears with the sound of laughter and tears we let out to aid our weeping hearts, some sleepless nights and some nights we chose not to sleep… and as I wave goodbye to her tonight, with the warmth of her kiss still on my lips and the texture of her skin fritter on my fingertips, I am convinced that I still love her just as much as I love her from 5 years ago or even more, and with every pinch to my tummy she does to irritate me, every time she cuts her eyes on me because I’m losing my temper, every ‘love you hon’ she whispers on the phone before she hangs up, I know she loves me just as much.. I believe in miracles.. she made me.

I believe that the secret in making every relationship work is ‘compromise’. Pride is the devil. More understanding, less expectations. We are a living testament to that, or more appropriately, she is. I hurt her (not physically of course), made her cry, done her wrong, but ultimately I was forgiven. Her trust was never tainted and she still loves me unconditionally. For that, I tell myself everyday to be a better person, love her more and make it up to her in every way possible, but I still fail from time to time. Well, I guess this is a lifelong mission for me.

I believe that familiarity begets contempt. But I believe that whatever flaws a person may have, if you love her for who she is, your feelings will still be the same no matter what. I think that’s how you learn to love someone unconditionally.

I believe that the foundation of love is faith.

I believe in myself. I know that I am now the best person that I could ever be. I know that I will be a good father to my two kids. They will be proud of me as I am proud of them. I know that wherever this life leads me to, I will be just fine. As long as I’m with her, I can believe in myself, for I’m the best me because of her.

Continued

The ballad of Alex and Aubrey – Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1 – Ted

July 6, 2004 – Up until today I still smell the scent of that day. Yeah, memories have scents, and when you look back on these memories, those scents come back to you as well. I couldn’t sleep the night before, excited for the leap i’m about to take. Had to get up at 6, but I was already wide awake at 4. My thoughts are mostly of ‘Introduce yourself’ lines, who wouldn’t need those on their first day at their new job. Well it’s actually my second day, but my first day for product training. It’s when I’ll meet the actual people who I would be spending the rest of my office days with. I just had to make that first impression. Who would have thought that would also be the day when I’ll meet my future wife.

It wasn’t love at first sight. I was introduced to Aubrey and I nodded my head back at her. I’m not a hand-shaker. She’s my type actually, the petite figure, charming little face, child-like voice, my kinda package. But back then I was with another girl. Being as I’m not a player (fo’ sho), right then and there, there was nothing special. But the universe conspired, and a year, 3 months and 11 days later, we got married and she was everything to me. How about that?

Continued.

CUTE

from 5 years ago

JUST WENT THRU HELL

Wow! Been almost a year since I last posted something here. Well, too much has happened, especially the last two months. But now that it’s all over and I’m starting to get back on my feet, I realized how much I gained going thru all of it. Sure, life’s a bitch. So, have a d*ck and fu*k it .

LIFE ON THE FAST LANE

I wrote ‘fast lane’ on the title, but no, I was not implying that I’m living a life of adventures and adrenaline rushes, and nope, I’m not a racer of any type. Heh. What I meant is literally ‘fast’. At 23, I can say that I’ve already been through a lot and that I’m way more mature than most people at my age. Well that just me saying, but what do I know huh? I made this notion about myself on the basis of where and what am I now. It seems that I’ve been living my whole life as if I’m in a hurry. ‘Fast’, as I was saying.

Let me break it down for you. I’m an early-schooled kid. I entered elementary when I was 5. It was my parents’ choice at that time, but now I realize it was more mine that theirs. I could have dropped out anytime or stop for a year or two along the way, but no I didn’t. In fact, I’ve gone the extra mile to make sure that I finish college at exactly 18. Yep. I graduated at the tender age of 18. But with ‘Cum Laude’ written on my transcript mind you. Let’s not talk about my school, I ain’t proud of her. Heh. After that I decided to take a break. After a few months, I got hired, just as soon as I turned 19. So I say that at 19, I’m a complete professional. Finished schooling, got a job, and all. But then I was just getting started. After another year, at 20, I got married. Kinda early for most people, but at least not ‘that’ early. It was a tough decision at that time, but it’s not one I regret or even thought of regretting. The next year, at 21, I became a father. My wife gave birth to our first kid. An insanely pretty boy. Thanks to his father of course. It was thrilling and at the same time very challenging. The transition from being single to being a husband, and having a lifetime partner was not a walk in the park for me, for both me and my wife I believe. The adjustments were not that easy. But then all that is relatively a piece of cake, as compared to being a parent. Nothing could have prepared me for it. I lost all my hair. Heh. Well not really, I just started shaving my head around that time. But seriously, it was the longest year of my life. Being a parent has its rewards, but then that just one side of the coin. The other side is hell. Heh. But with perseverance and strong faith, we made it through. Not with flying colors, but we made it. Did I learn my lesson? Of course not. The next year, at 22, we had our second baby. A lovely and very angelic girl this time. Good thing experience can be an asset. And it was easier this time around.

A few months back, I turned 23. To my shock, the only thing that happened to me is that I was transferred to a different department in the company where I work. Then again, the year is just getting started. So I sat down, and looked back. At 23, who am I and where am I at? I’ve been a professional for 4 years, got a small promotion once, but nonetheless, I believe I have my achievements. I’m happily married for 3 years and a father of two. To sum it that way is kind of an understatement. The things I’ve been through are more than what it seems, but nobody really cares about the details.

Am I regretting anything? Nope, I regret none. Do I encourage living the same way I did. I’m afraid the answer is no as well.

Life is short. Really. But believe me, there’s no need to hurry.

Looking forward and preparing for your future is good, but living in the present is the essence of life.

Finally, use condoms. Heh.

-Alex

random

‘a whole lot a non-sense lang….

 

- I thought working on a graveyard shift will force me to lose weight, losing sleep and all.. so why am I gaining some?

 

- Jollibee replies to text messages exactly a week after the original message. Very prompt.

 

- Managing my family’s financials is the most difficult task I’m entailed to do right now. Doing the accounting at home ‘kumbaga. It’s even more difficult than plotting the break/lunch schedules of the whole Ado** **** team after doing a 30-min interval call forecast using Linear Regression. Wowserz! (Just made that up, really.)

 

- Why do I always use the CR on the other side of the floor when there is one on my side?

 

- On the jeepney on my way to the office today (tonight?), I was sitting next to a drunk guy. Funny thing is, I look and act just as drunk as he is. On my case, I’m not drunk, I’m just sleep-deprived.

 

- Me and my co-OMD here in Ado** are referred to as ‘Pulis Pangkalawakan – Alexis and Anni’. Alexis being me, Alex and my partner Inna as Anni (if you read her name backwards). Cool.

 

- Is fart a by-product of caffeine? I’ve developed a Cobra (the silly energy drink) dependency lately. Looked at the back of the bottle and it says ‘Caffeine – 185g’. Heh. That’s a lot. Apparently, as of late, I am farting at least twice than usual. Uhmmm… Smells like teen spirit.

 

- Funny quote – “Ang asawa, habang bata, parang sabaw. Mas masarap habang mainit. Pero pag tumanda na, parang de lata, bubuksan mo na lang pag talagang wala ka nang makain.”

 

- Another quote – “Ang di marunong magmahal sa sariling wika, sa callcenter naglipana.”

 

- Fill in the blank – “Ano, gusto mo _____ ko yang _____ mo?”

 

Eldin – “Ano, gusto mo chukchakin ko yang chenes mo?”

Ralph – “Ne, gusto mo loadan ko yang cellphone mo?”

Alex – “Ano, gusto mo kant**in ko yang pe*p*k mo?” (bastos na kung bastos)

Quennie – “Ano, gusto mo sirain ko araw mo?” (Ralph agree??)

Aubrey – “Ano, gusto mo i-chismis ko yang mga sikreto mo?… online!”

Wilson – “Ano, gusto mo dambahin ko yang likod mo?”

Jha – “Ano, gusto mo replyan ko yang text mo?… next week!”

 

- It’s September, so I started playing my Christmas MP3s. Can smell it on the air already.

 

- Today is Ann’s last day on OSMA. I’m officially the only KAi-ers left on this floor.

 

- Found a tape measure on my pedestal. Checked my waist and it turns out to be 33 inches. It was 36-37 inches just last year. Woot! Woot!

 

- I’m so excited with the Watchmen movie that I actually dreamt of being the Night Owl last night, and I’m nailing Silk Spectre. Heh. (Anyone relate?)

 

- A senior of mine in high school is now my team mate in Ado** **TS. Small world. Apparently, she doesn’t remember me. Maybe because I’m completely innocent-looking back then. Now I’m a complete perv.

 

- R.I.P. PCHowTo!

The 5 Stages of Grief

“It’s not where you’re from. It where you’re at” said Briana Evigan. Music plays then the dancing begins. More dancing, talking, some kissing, then the credits start rolling. I stood up, reached for the DVD player on the other side of the room and pressed Eject. I tucked my pirated copy of Step Up 2 back to its case, then I went back to bed.

 

Thursday night. Beside me is Dylan, who I believe is now asleep. Whew. After 10 seconds of silence, I asked myself “Where am I at?”. After a quick recollection of the meeting we had earlier at the office, I uttered “and where am I going?”. Heh. I’m such a drama queen. But I can’t help it. Sykes, or more specifically PCHowTo (KAi what?) is a big part of me. For the past 4 years it has been.

 

******

 

4 years ago, when I first entered Sykes hoping to pursue a steady living in this not-so-popular-then call center industry, I remember I’m this 19-year old 45-kgm skinny boy who’s very indecisive and immature. Now, I weigh 30 kgms more, happily married, a father of two very adorable rugrats, and is a man who has total control of his life. It’s all me. I made all this happen. But nonetheless, PCHowTo was on my side. Whatever professional wisdom/ethics/maturity I have, I learned from PCHowTo. I made a lot of life-changing decisions over the years, and incidentally, I made most of them while I’m employed by PCHowTo. Every cent I spent on my wedding, Dylan’s delivery, his baptismal, 1st birthday, 2nd birthday, Andrea’s delivery, her baptismal and a whole lot a crap, I earned from PCHowTo. 4 years sure is a long time. What I’m getting at actually, is that as I defined myself and learned to be independent, as I build my own family, and as I shape my future up to this point in time, I was with PCHowTo. I was. Was. F#@k!

 

I’m not bitter. I’m just being sentimental.

 

******

 

I remember, some two years or so ago, when Herbs (along w/ others) was laid off, the only thing he said before leaving was “Guess we all just have to move on”. Famous last words.

 

In less than a month, the rest of us who religiously stayed with PCHowTo will have to “move on”. I believe Gray. This is a blessing in disguise. But that’s one hell of a god-damn disguise I tell you. I’m not worried. I’m in good hands I believe. And I know what I’m capable of. Getting through this ordeal won’t be a walk in the park, but I know it’s something I can (must) do. But that doesn’t make me any less sad. Yeah, I’m sad. Oh wait. Uhmm.. I’m happy! Yeah, I am. Looking back, well, it’s not that bad. I.. I… okay I’m sad. Really.

 

R.I.P. PCHowTo

 

******

 

Now that that’s out of the way, I’d like to thank everyone. PCHowTo is not this creepy looking frog, nor is it the new KAi logo. It’s not KF9, Microsoft Office or MUI. It’s not scripting or building. PCHowTo is you. Us. PCHowTo is Ann, Grace, Gray, Ralph, Aubrey, Jha, Pao, Eldin, everyone. We are PCHowTo.

 

My stay here wouldn’t have been this worthwhile without any of you. Thank you.

 

******

 

OK. Time to do that “moving on” thing. Heh.